Betty Panda

I'm in the land of Rick Perry and I just shipped my pants. Run ballistics on this hairpiece. Wow this watermelon is just so great I'm gonna marry it now.  Incidentally my computer just now this very moment decided to Betty Crocker. You jerks, giving away nothing like it's candy. NOTHING DOESN'T GROW ON TREES YOU KNOW

Every time someone says the word pandering I imagine a panda just putting its paw on someone's face like

PAP

PAP

yo man im like a panda and crap

PAP

What I really wanted to say was: You should not include: colons at random points: in your sentence. They just don't belong. I don't know what you want from me, but it will never be colons. According to me, a colon is two dots. But that's for another day that will never happen. If you know the muffin man however, the Coalition of International Baking Injustice would really like to know. I mean, if you don't know the muffin man, you probably won't be sued for too much. As long as your attorney isn't Antarctican, you should be fine. The CIBI is kind of racist. Hello there.

If you wanted to know the meaning of knowing what meanings of what you wanted to know the meaning of, you'd be in the wrong DMV. I don't really know why you'd want to be playing Monopoly, but I sure don't want to know why you'd be wanting to play Monopoly. So don't tell me. Or I will murder your entire TREE. Because you're really TREE. Why are you so TREE? Can't you be less like a TREE?

Hey. Hey pick up that anvil and throw it out of this like seven story window. It will be funny. I don't care bout manslaughter. Just do it. You are being a lazy bum. By which I mean you are a butt exhibiting an overwhelming lackadaisical attitude for which you will surely be outcast as a sort of social pariah, cursed to walk the sad and lonely path of a repugnant exile bearing at least two diseases. Like, polio or something. I don't know. Let's go back to exhuming bodies illegally.

-Polio and Griffin